Historically, an unjust focus on appearance
has been a major factor in defining how women are
viewed by society. To many, if a female’s thigh
does not have the same circumference as her arm,
it is easy to write her off as “lazy” — not strict
with her diet or exercise regimen, and uncaring
about the fact that most people will judge her
based on the way she looks.
In contemporary society we are fortunate
enough to have strong, assertive and outgoing
women who are proudly putting themselves out
into the world as such. These women are raising
awareness that their fellow females should be
focusing on their inner strength and confidence,
not attempting to starve themselves to look like
the impossibly photo-shopped bodies seen in
magazines. Demi Lovato, Beyoncé, Ke$ha and Adele
are all vocal advocates of this truth, and try to
help younger generations of women understand that
they are more than their bodies. That it is
actually more than okay to order what you really
want when on a date. That it is okay to get up
and leave if you are judged for ordering a dish
that is not full of greens. (Not that there is
anything wrong with having a salad. I personally
think salads are delicious.) And also that we
must remember that our body belongs to no one but
us. Everything we put in it is our choice, and
those who judge our decisions are not even worth a
moment of our time.
I believe this unfair stigma directed towards
women is not only true with size, but also with
skin color. In Malala Yousafzai‘s memoir I Am Malala,
she writes about how she and her friends used to use
“skin lightening cream” because they too wanted to
look like the girls they saw in magazines. I was
recently at a party celebrating one of my Indian
friend’s birthday and was shocked when she and her
cousin began to joke about all of the cream’s they
had tried out, and their parents had given them, when
they were younger. Similarly for me, with an Italian,
Polish and Slovak background, get excited to lie out
and tan each summer, loving the way I look with this
earned golden glow.
Why do we think in this twisted way? Why do we
genuinely believe that altering a part of our
appearance will make us truly beautiful and irresistibly
desirable? In a HuffPost article, male feminist
Harris O’Malley says: "Labeling women as crazy, ugly,
fat, slutty or bitchy is a way of controlling them. It
may not be planned or pre-meditated, but the ease with
which men call women any of these adjectives says a lot
about them. Defining a woman by any of these words is a
quick and easy shut-down to any discussion."
I applauded this article, shared it with others in
the office and retweeted it. I can imagine strong women
such as Sheryl Sandberg and Arianna Huffington giving
Harris O’Malley and HuffPost (well Arianna is the founder
after all!) snaps for bringing awareness to such a
negatively influential expectation that society holds,
and has always held, over women.
Personally, I believe that if a woman has a strong
and beautiful mind, she is more attractive than anyone
who has been photoshopped and stuck in a magazine. For
these women, these real women, have the initiative to take
risks, to be different from others, to speak their mind
and to value themselves and their opinions. These are the
women that I look up to. That I try to emulate. These are
the women that society needs more of.
stay classy! xx